<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>One of Spider-Man's Many Talents by fujoshi100</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25377457">One of Spider-Man's Many Talents</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujoshi100/pseuds/fujoshi100'>fujoshi100</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deadpool being Deadpool, Gen, Humor, No pairings - Freeform, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Peter is 18, Pole Dancing, Rated for Profanity, Spider-Man Pole Dancing, Worried Tony Stark, rated for language</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:41:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,435</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25377457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujoshi100/pseuds/fujoshi100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow the Avengers find out that Spider-Man can pole dance. Of course, this prompts them to ask why. Many weird stories in Peter Parker's life start with one of two things, a radioactive spider bite or Deadpool. This one starts with both.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One of Spider-Man's Many Talents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My favorite Peter Parker is Tom Holland, but imagine whoever you want. Peter is 18 and in college. There are no relationships. Read the tags. Anyways, this is my first fanfiction on AO3 and my first oneshot. It is also my first complete fanfiction. Tell me what you think. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Late at night, Spider-Man is crouched on top of a building in one of the seedier parts of town watching what seems to be a weapons smuggling deal and not just any weapons, stolen alien technology. He can never catch a break. He sighs and swings toward them.</p>
<p>"Guys, it's not nice to take things that aren't yours!" he quips which earn him quite a few guns aimed in his direction.</p>
<p>The one who seems to be the leader raises an eyebrow and asks, "Oh, yeah? What about this?" before firing off another round of bullets. He barely manages to dodge them all.</p>
<p>"Hey, careful! These are my favorite clothes. You almost ruined them," he whines. He manages to web the guns out of two of the goons' hands. Their leaders may be unarmed but the four lackeys are still armed, and they don't seem to be in the mood to play. He wasn't either.</p>
<p>"Well, we're going to have cut this short. I have somewhere to be. Don't miss me too much." He winks at them which enrages them even more. All four are shooting at him now, and while his Spidey Sense is great, it doesn't really help when the danger is coming from all directions.</p>
<p>Just as he's sure that he's about to gain a brand new hole in his suit and in his side, a large figure blocks the bullet. He doesn't have the time to stop and look at who his mysterious savior is. He keeps fighting with a quick "Thanks, man!" thrown over his shoulder at the person who took a bullet for him.</p>
<p>He finally manages to get all six of the men webbed together and all their guns out of reach when he grabs one of their phones and calls the police. Once he's done, he calls Iron Man to inform him about the stolen tech before he's able to take a good look at his ally.</p>
<p>To his surprise, it's Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth. He's someone who's known to talk even more than him, but he hasn't uttered a word since he appeared.</p>
<p>"Hey, DP. What's up?" This isn't the first time he's worked with Deadpool, but it's the first time where Deadpool hasn't killed anyone.</p>
<p>At his words, Deadpool relaxes a bit before taking a deep breath and answering, "Hey, Spidey. I decided to try to be a hero like you. I'm not very good at it, but I figured I could stop killing people at least."</p>
<p>"That's great! Why the sudden change of heart though?"</p>
<p>"The mercenary business is pretty lonely even though it pays well. I decided to kill only bad guys, and by that I mean really evil creeps like pedophiles and rapists, but even that upsets you. So, I decided to stop because if I did we could team up like you do with the Human Torch or Iron Man whenever they're not with their own teams."</p>
<p>It honestly flattered him that Deadpool held him in such high regards that he would stop killing just so he could team up with him. Unfortunately, he was kind of an unofficial Avenger already, and Mr. Stark would not be happy to see who his new partner was, even less so if he wouldn't join the Avengers but was fine with joining Deadpool.</p>
<p>"Sorry, 'Pool. I already have an agreement with the Avengers. I promised I'd join them if I felt like joining a superhero team."</p>
<p>"Awww! But Spidey!"</p>
<p>"We can still fight together, but not too often, and we can't be an official team. We're not even real superheroes. We're vigilantes and technically illegal."</p>
<p>"I wanted us to be called Team Red though. We could've asked Daredevil to join, too." He was definitely pouting. He was way too much like an oversized puppy for a person who used to have no problem killing others (and even himself at times, especially when he first became Deadpool, not that Peter knew). Peter could not have that on his conscience.</p>
<p>"I would if I could. How about I make it up to you in some way?"</p>
<p>At that, Deadpool perked up. He was cheerful again. "I know what you can do to make it up!"</p>
<p>Spider-Man narrowed his eyes at the quick response and sudden change of mood. "That's fine. As long as it's nothing too crazy. And your answer better not be you."</p>
<p>"I should've thought of that! But nah, it's something else Spidey."</p>
<p>"Alright, what is it?"</p>
<p>"You should pole dance!"</p>
<p>"I should do what?!" Peter yelled, choking on his own spit. He coughed before looking at Deadpool with a glare. "What part of nothing too crazy did you not get?"</p>
<p>"It would just be me seeing you." He was like a gigantic toddler. His disappointment made Peter feel guilty, like he kicked a puppy or yelled at an old lady.</p>
<p>"Fine. We'll meet again at this time and place tomorrow and you can take me someplace with a pole. I expect payment in the form of food afterward though."</p>
<p>"Ooh, I know the best taco place! They also do the most delicious chimichangas I've had outside of Mexico."</p>
<p>"I'll see you then." Now Peter had to go home and figure out how to pole dance. As he thought about it, it occurred to him that he could have just told Deadpool that he didn't know how and it would have been the truth. He looked around, but the merc was long gone. He groaned before continuing his journey home.</p>
<p>Once he got home, he changed out of his suit and flopped on his bed, tired from Spider-Manning and the general weirdness of his night. He would love nothing more than to go to sleep, but he and his stupid brain promised to pole dance for Deadpool of all people. </p>
<p>If anyone knew what pole dancing looked like, it was that guy. He would definitely realize that Peter didn’t know the first thing about pole dancing. And who knew who else might find out? If Peter epically sucked, he would be laughed at for the rest of his career as Spider-Man. Everyone in the superpowered community would know about Spider-Man’s failed attempt at poling, but if he looked like he knew what he was doing, he might be able to keep some of his dignity intact.</p>
<p>He got out his battered old laptop that he mainly used for his college classes and searched pole dancing videos. He had no time to properly learn. All he could do was watch some videos, try to copy what they did, and hope for the best. He might be able to get some practice, but there wasn’t much he could try without a pole.</p>
<p>His bedroom was too small and cramped because of his bed and desk, and he had to go out to the living room to practice. Never before had he been happier that he had moved out and started living by himself earlier that year when he first started his classes at Columbia. His aunt did not need to see him embarrass himself like this. </p>
<p>He knew some things about dancing because of dance classes he used to take since he was six. It started as something his aunt and uncle enrolled him in to help him deal with the loss of his parents because his therapist had suggested finding a new hobby could help him cope. He eventually came to love dancing and had tried all kinds including ballet, jazz, hip-hop, and even tap dancing. </p>
<p>However, with the spider bite, Uncle Ben’s death, and Flash’s bullying getting more intense, he had quit in his first year of high school. </p>
<p>The spider bite had caused him to eat more so they needed more money for food and without Uncle Ben, Aunt May already had to work back-to-back shifts just to cover rent. Everything else had to go to food. </p>
<p>They didn’t have enough money for him to continue dance classes, but even if they did, he wouldn’t feel right with his aunt working so hard for him when she deserved time to deal with her grief. He would work if she’d let him, but she refused. Other than that, dancing was something Uncle Ben suggested anyway, so he wouldn’t - no, couldn’t - make his aunt remember her loss and feel that pain every time he left to go to dance class or had a recital. </p>
<p>Flash had given him a short reprieve for him to mourn Uncle Ben, but he’d started his bullying again soon enough. Peter would have to be a fool to think that he wouldn’t make fun of Peter for his dance classes if he found out. One didn’t get into Midtown School of Science and Technology by being a fool.</p>
<p>All of these factors combined had made him quit, but now he bemoaned that fact. It had been five since his last dance class at age thirteen, but even though he remembered how, his body had not gone through the motions even once since he quit. He didn’t want his aunt to feel hurt if she walked in on him practicing, so he didn’t.</p>
<p>If he had tried since that day, this very moment might have been a little less embarrassing. Even with his spider-enhanced reflexes and the muscle memory of long years of practice, he could not be any less graceful at that moment. He choreographed a routine, trying more for competitive pole dancer and less stripper, but anyone’s guess was as good as his at how successful he was.</p>
<p>After a few hours of practicing what he could and recording it so he could see his progress he decided it was time to go to bed if he wanted to not be a zombie at work the next morning. The rest would have to be left up to luck and his spider reflexes. Working at The Daily Bugle with Jameson was hard enough without him being sleep-deprived.</p>
<p>The next day flew by and he was on patrol as Spider-Man before he knew it. The time he was supposed to meet Deadpool was approaching. He didn’t know if he could do this, but he had no choice. He doesn’t break promises, ever. He wasn’t raised like that. Uncle Ben didn’t raise him like that.</p>
<p>With nothing left to do, he swung back to the building from last night and waited. He didn’t have to wait long. Deadpool showed up as excited and eager as ever. At least someone was happy about this.</p>
<p>He begrudgingly followed Deadpool to what looked like a club that had been closed for a while. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry, the poles are still stable. This used to belong to a friend of mine.”</p>
<p>Peter wasn’t sure that friend was still alive, and he didn’t think it was a friend at all. But who was he to question it? His only job was to do one dance, and then he would flee like he was a witch about to be burned at the stake during the Salem Witch Trials.</p>
<p>He stood at the pole assessing the area before his routine when Deadpool interrupted, “Are you dancing in the Spidey suit?”</p>
<p>“Well, if I was a normal human, I might have needed to wear more revealing clothes to keep a proper grip on the pole. Sadly for you, I have superpowers, and one of them happens to be super stickiness. I’ll be fine.” He smirked. At least he didn’t have to go against his will here. </p>
<p>He started his music and got through his routine to Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You” without mistakes. Once he finished, he looked at Deadpool in askance. He was done, now what?</p>
<p>Deadpool shook his head as if bringing himself out of a trance. He looked like he was in shock that Spider-Man had actually done a pole dance, at his request, to make up for him not being able to team up with Deadpool without Daddy Stark getting upset.</p>
<p>“Great job, Spidey! Do you not want people to know your actual identity because you’re actually a stripper?”</p>
<p>“DEADPOOL! Shut up!”</p>
<p>“What? You shy, Spidey? I won’t tell.”</p>
<p>“I am not a stripper, and you will not speak about this to anyone. If you do, if you even think about doing it, I will know, and I will be forced to break my rule of no murder, and I will kill you.”</p>
<p>“Fine, Spidey. I won’t tell.”</p>
<p>They parted then with them both completing their separate patrols before turning in for the night. Deadpool and Spider-Man both re-lived that event in their dreams. Deadpool’s were dreams of delight and fantasy, but Spider-Man re-lived it in nightmares filled with terror.</p>
<p>They never spoke of it again even when they saw each other, but neither forgot.</p>
<p>Which leads to right now. How the fuck do the Avengers know? They don’t seem to have seen him, but they have more than implied that they know about him being able to pole dance. He doesn’t know if doing one single pole dancing routine counts as knowing how to pole dance, but he’s not able to give them any details if they don’t have any. Well, only one thing he can do.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about? Pole dance? Who can do it? Is it Nat? Because Nat can do anything so I wouldn’t be surprised if she said she could do that.”</p>
<p>“Cut the bullshit, Spider-Man. We know you can work a pole,” Nat said. Tony moaned in distress.</p>
<p>“I can’t, but let’s say I can. Why does it matter?”</p>
<p>“Are you doing it for the money? If you are, I’ll pay you instead,” Tony cuts in, sounding frantic. He might actually be in tears right now.</p>
<p>“I swear that I am not pole dancing for money or anything. I’m not pole dancing at all. Let’s say I can, how would you even know that I can pole dance?” Peter questioned.</p>
<p>Steve cleared his throat before saying, “We saw you on that street lamp earlier, during the fight. Nat said those moves were something she’s only seen done by pole dancers. We trust her judgement so we’re just making sure you’re being safe.”</p>
<p>“Because being a superhero/vigilante is so safe,” Peter scoffs. “Well, don’t worry. I’m not doing anything that would worry you. I’m a normal college student just working as a photographer for money.”</p>
<p>As if he’d admit that he learned to pole dance, much less why.</p>
<p>And that’s the story of how Spider-Man learned to pole dance and what happened when the Avengers found out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't typically write fanfiction so I know I'm not the best. Let me know if you spot any mistakes or think there are any tags I need to change or add. Please leave a comment if you liked it or even if you didn't. I'd love it if you could explain why you liked it or why you didn't. Constructive criticism is appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>